Tuesday April 10th 2012

This morning, the wood pigeons were crashing about, tussling with each other for a while. They are slightly daft these birds, but I managed to capture one taking flight a few years ago. 
And from time to time one of them crashes into the conservatory window in a panic, but luckily they fly away unscathed, leaving only the soft ghostly imprint of a shadow on the glass.


Yesterday Judy and I sorted through our collection of vinyl LPs, deciding what to take with us and what to leave. It's easy to forget what an art form album cover design was, and handling the records in their sleeves conjures up all sorts of memories. My turntable is a Linn Sondek which I first purchased in 1986 and since then it has seen several upgrades, including a separate power supply and a properly adjusted preamplifier. The sound is spectacular, and there is something about vinyl playback that captures the soul in a way that is missing from digital. I'll have to get the Hi Fi equipment altered for the US though; a change in fuses and transformers and then it will all be boxed up until its shipped to us next year. 


I'll look forward to rediscovering the music then, and sparking off memories and recollections as the stylus tracks the groove.


Leaving my home in Africa as a nine year old child in 1966 I carried my favourite music with me on a few cassette tapes; sounds of the African singing I had come to know, transported to England in my little brown suitcase and to a country that was to me, completely strange and foreign. I had grown up with the wild open spaces of the African landscapes and, from our verandah, we could see Mount Kilimanjaro in the distance, capped with snow. It was a sight that lingers still in my imagination and which haunts me, like a dream.


Nicholas 




More often than not, I minimise the process of getting from one place to another. It is not that I undervalue it, it is just that I more happily focus on the actual goal, or the inspiration that put me on some path in the first place; these give me the courage and the energy to make changes that are significant, these are the fuels for my internal fire.


In this season, it is our love story that is the defining force in the momentum...from the moment we met on Iona to this one, the passion we share for beauty, for creativity, for life and for one another, has defined and shaped my destiny. From being an actress on Broadway, living in NYC, to setting up house in a little medieval market town called Dorking, from being an interpretive artist to learning about white page creativity in writing my first book, from being a part-time massage therapist to working as a full-time holistic healer and getting my diploma in psychology...all of these moments have happened with Nicholas by my side, his love and gentle spirit holding every transition I made. 


In rereading that, it makes it seem like there were never any rough spots, moments that felt discouraging or overwhelming....and on the mornings when I wake and momentarily feel that it is all too much, that I might be too old to reinvent again, that we might have missed some piece of the puzzle, dropped some ball, made a mistake in our calculations, etc....I dip into the garden for reassurance once more.

Here is the chaos, the muddy, seemingly endless days of workmen pounding, digging and (as we have no side or rear entrance to our garden) traipsing all the muck from our front door, through the hall, the kitchen and conservatory, to our back door, five days a week for nearly 6 weeks. More than once we wondered what we were thinking as we swept and mopped on a daily basis!

 And....here...our vision made reality...good for me to remember that getting to the dream gets messy sometimes...
Judy